Midnight's Embrace 🧣

As a child, Christmas was unequivocally the best time of year. The excitement was palpable – the thrill of unwrapping gifts, the satisfying weight of cash in my hand, the mouthwatering aromas of the dishes my mother and I prepared together (the scent of roasted chicken permeated the entire house!), and the joy of decorating the Christmas tree. It was pure magic.

 

While for many, Christmas is synonymous with presents, my association is different. For me, Christmas has always been about forgiveness – extending it to others and, importantly, to myself. It's the most valuable gift one can offer, even if some individuals don't necessarily deserve it. Forgiveness, I've come to realize, is not just about letting go of anger; it's about freeing oneself from the burden of resentment, allowing space for healing and growth. Forgiveness doesn't equate to forgetting; they are distinct concepts.

 

Christmas 2024, however, felt markedly different. The familiar festive excitement was absent. The anticipation of gifts, the culinary preparations, the decorating – all felt… muted. Is this simply a sign of growing up? Or is it the lingering absence of my grandfather, Lolo, with whom I shared many cherished Christmases? 😅 This year, I found myself isolated in my room, existing in a monotonous cycle of eating, watching BL dramas, showering, and sleeping. I longed for a change, a way to break free from this routine. Christmas felt like any other day.

 

I did attend Simbang Gabi, though I didn't manage all nine masses. The final mass on December 24th culminated in a delightful midnight feast of culinary delights. After enjoying our purchases at home, we gathered at my family's house for a second round of feasting. The sushi bake was particularly delicious; I indulged liberally. My cousins enjoyed alcoholic beverages while I opted for Coke, acting as their designated chaser. Their boisterous singing filled the air. Later, we engaged in a late-night conversation that stretched until 4 am, sharing our lives, laughing heartily, and even attempting some TikTok trends. The connection was comforting, a welcome contrast to my usually solitary existence. After saying our goodbyes, we went our separate ways.

 

And that was it. Reflecting on my Christmas, I realize that while the outward trappings of the holiday felt different this year, the underlying need for connection and the quiet comfort of forgiveness remained. Perhaps that's the true essence of Christmas, a truth that transcends the changing seasons of life. The cash was nice, of course, but the shared laughter and unexpected comfort were far more valuable. 

I have not included any photographs in this post because I did not take any pictures during the Christmas season. 😅